Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (2024)

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Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (1)

Hello friends! It’s time once again for a chapter in my Fandom Food series where I recreate iconic geeky recipes from video games, movies, and my favorite fandoms. It’s my favorite way to cook! This time around is a real video game classic that inspired many an internet meme: the Portal cake. I promise, this cake isn’t a lie. Woo, old memes FTW.

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (2)

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (3)

This meme became SO popular that Valve, the Portal game developers decided not to even include it in the sequel, Portal 2.

This Portal cake recipe is a simple one, especially considering the complexity of the in-game recipe. But we’ll get to that later. For now, let’s compare the look of mine to the look of the original in the game.

Here’s the original from the game:

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (4)

Photo via Wikia

And mine:

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (5)

Is it close enough? If so, feel free to take this Portal cake recipe and whip it up for our own geektastic needs. I was actually inspired to create this after seeing this new game on my boyfriend’s shelf, Portal The Uncooperative Board Game. It had some super cute Portal cake game pieces in there.

Here are the ingredients that GLaDOS displays on various computer screens in the game (thanks to Wikia for the list!):

1 (18.25-ounce) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut–pecan frosting
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
Fish-shaped crackers
Fish-shaped candies
Fish-shaped solid waste
Fish-shaped dirt
Fish-shaped ethylbenzene
Pull-and-peel licorice
Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment
Candy-coated peanut butter pieces (shaped like fish)
1 cup lemon juice
Alpha resins
Unsaturated polyester resin
Fiberglass surface resins and volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yolks
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
1 cup granulated sugar
An entry called: “How to Kill Someone with Your Bare Hands”
2 cups rhubarb, sliced
2/3 cups granulated rhubarb
1 tbsp. all-purpose rhubarb
1 tsp. grated orange rhubarb
3 tbsp. rhubarb, on fire
1 large rhubarb
1 cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 tbsp. rhubarb juice
Adjustable aluminum head positioner
Slaughter electric needle injector
Cordless electric needle injector
Injector needle driver
Injector needle gun
Cranial caps

Mmm cranial caps. WHEW. As you can see, this is clearly an inedible video game cake that we’ll just have to wing, ingredient-wise. The look of the cake was inspired by The Regent Bakery & Café, located in Redmond, WA, which is apparently not far from the Valve headquarters where the game was developed. It was a black forest cake (thus why there are cherries on top), but I’m making it a little simpler.

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (6)

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (7)

I went with a simple, but rich chocolate Devil’s Food cake base, vanilla frosting layers, chocolate frosting outside, with chocolate shavings. Then it’s topped with whipped cream and Maraschino cherries. Simple, but perfect for the birthday of your favorite video game geek or Portal fan.

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (8)

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (9)

Guardians of the Galaxy cake

Here are a few more geeky recipes to fill your arsenal for a kid’s party of for the fellow nerdy nerds in your life (myself included!):

  • Conjured mana strudel from Warcraft
  • Rustic honeyed chicken hand pies from Game of Thrones
  • Gingerbread Wookiee cookies from Star Wars
  • Harry Potter-inspired butterbeer cake
  • Guardians of the Galaxy cake
  • Harry Potter-inspired butterbeer
  • Harry Potter-inspired pumpkin pasties (two ways!)
  • Marbled dinosaur eggs from Jurassic Park

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (11)

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (12)

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Print

Yum

Portal cake recipe

Prep Time: 1 hour, 20 minutes

Cook Time: 40 minutes

Total Time: 2 hours

Yield: 1 8-inch round 3-layer cake

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (13)

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, plus more for greasing the pans
  • 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, plus more for pans
  • 1/2 cup boiling water
  • 2 1/4 cups sugar or granulated sugar substitute
  • 1 Tbsp pure vanilla extract
  • 4 large eggs, lightly beaten
  • 3 cups sifted cake flour
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 ttsp salt
  • 1 cup milk
  • Chocolate and vanilla frosting of your choice (buttercream recipe here!)
  • 2 (1.55-oz) chocolate bars, grated
  • Maraschino cherries
  • Whipped cream

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Butter three 8-inch round cake pans and dust bottoms and sides of pans with cocoa powder; tap out any excess. Sift cocoa into a medium bowl, and whisk in boiling water. Set aside to cool.
  2. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter on low speed until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in sugar until light and fluffy, 3 to 4 minutes, scraping down sides. Beat in vanilla.
  3. Slowly add in lightly beated eggs, beating between each addition, scraping down the sides as needed.
  4. In a large bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, and salt. Whisk milk into reserved cocoa mixture. With mixer on low speed, alternately add flour and cocoa mixtures to the batter.
  5. Divide batter evenly among the pans. Bake until a cake tester comes out clean, 35 to 45 minutes. Transfer layers to wire racks and let cool for 15 minutes. Turn out cakes, and return to racks, tops up, until completely cool.
  6. Place one cake layer on a serving platter; spread 1 1/2 cups vanilla frosting over the top. Add the second cake layer, and spread with another 1 1/2 cups vanilla frosting. Top with third cake layer. Cover outside of cake with 3 cups of the chocolate frosting.
  7. Sprinkle with chocolate shavings and top which dollops of whipped cream and cherries as shown.

https://www.bijouxandbits.com/2016/07/portal-cake-recipe/

This recipe is copyrighted to Bijoux & Bits

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (14)

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (15)If you make this recipe, share a photo and hashtag it #BIJOUXANDBITS. I’d love to see what you’re cooking!

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (16)

Cake recipe adapted from Martha Stewart.

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (18)Catherine Clark is a Chicago native sharing noteworthy things she sees and attempts to make in the world. She's a geek, cat lady, designer and editor by day, and noob chef by night.

View My Blog Posts

Previous Post: « Herbed heirloom tomato tart

Next Post: Mango salsa pasta salad »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (19)Esma says

    I am a big fan of Portal and I’s my birthday tomorrow) Thank you for this recipe, I’ll defenitly make this cute cake, want to try my favorite game to taste))) You’re awesome!

    • Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (20)Catherine says

      The in-game recipe is hilarious, so it was fun to translate. Happy birthday!

  2. Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (21)Kylie B. says

    I’m the only one in the house who LOVES Portal like you wouldn’t believe it and my family says the cake looks delicious. I really want to make this.

    • Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (22)Catherine says

      Yep, you can totally be a non-fan and just enjoy cake to enjoy this one. 😉 Thanks for trying it!

      • Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (23)Kylie B. says

        Thank you. I’ve played the games so many times!

  3. Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (24)Ana says

    Gracias por la receta, mi hijo de 12 años me pidió que se la prepare para su cunpleaños.
    Saludos desde Argentina.

  4. Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (25)Avery says

    I love portal. next time my birthday comes, I’m gonna tell my friends that we should make this cake. and I’m too poor to afford portal 1 or 2, so I only have the demo. but I’ve seen youtube videos, and I LOVE the new design for GLaDOS. thank you so much for posting this! Can’t wait to bake in may!

Portal cake recipe | Bijoux & Bits (2024)

FAQs

What was the cake in Portal? ›

The cake is a Black Forest cake promised to Chell by GLaDOS during Portal.

What does GLaDOS say about cake? ›

The promise of Cake is introduced by GLaDOS as an incentive for Chell to complete the test chambers in the original Portal. It is referenced in many of the Rattmann's dens as "a lie", sparking the internet meme "The Cake is a lie".

Why is there a cake at the end of Portal? ›

Initially left behind as graffiti by Doug Rattman to warn that GLaDOS, the game's main villain, was deceiving the player, it was intended to be a minor reference and esoteric joke by the game's development team that implied the player would never receive their promised reward.

Can you reach the cake in Portal? ›

At the game's end, the cake is finally shown but is unobtainable. This led to rumors that players could access the room this ending cutscene takes place in and unlock a special ending.

Who is GLaDOS daughter? ›

In the events of the second game, Glados discovers she is Caroline (basically) and that Chell was her daughter. She becomes more protective and loving torwards Chell.

What is GLaDOS full name? ›

GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System) is a rampant artificial intelligence computer system that controls Aperture laboratories, and is the primary antagonist for the Portal series.

Why was Portal 3 cancelled? ›

Portal - Why was Portal 3 cancelled? Assuming Wolpaw's interview is accurate, the main reason Portal 3 has not yet been released is not because of evil intent, but rather, Valve itself. Although it is one of the most prominent gaming businesses, Valve is also one of the smallest and lacks the staff required to compete.

Are there 2 endings in Portal 2? ›

As spacecore mentions there is only one ending to Portal 2.

Why did Wheatley betray you in Portal 2? ›

However, he appears in hidden areas of the facility to Chell, and later helps her defeat GLaDOS by replacing her program in the main control system with himself. But right when Wheatley is about to let Chell go free, he becomes corrupted and betrays her, accusing her of selfishly using him.

Is escape cake a Portal reference? ›

The cake might be a reference to Portal, where the cake topping uses the same logo as the Portal games, made by Valve, and the description supports this, by saying that the picture of the cake sure is real, meaning that the cake is not real, or a lie, which is a quote used mainly in the Portal Games.

Is there cake in Portal 2? ›

The cake is briefly mentioned in Portal 2 when GLaDOS creates a trap for Chell with a door labeled, "GLaDOS Emergency Shutdown and Cake Dispensary, Keep Unlocked." It is also briefly seen in the Ratman Den containing the ASHPD, in which a mural of GLaDOS attempting to offer Chell a slice of cake can be seen.

How did Portal 1 end? ›

At the end of the game Chell escapes the facility after blowing GLaDOS up and Ratmann does as well. He sees Chell being dragged back into the facility by a robot and feels guilty so he goes back to save her. That's the end of Portal 1 and what happens after is the set up to Portal 2 and the game itself.

What is meant by "the cake is a lie"? ›

Phrase. the cake is a lie. (Internet slang) The end being pursued is unattainable or misguided; the reward promised is false.

What does the cake is a lie mean? ›

“The cake is a lie” is a catchphrase from the game Portal, where the player is promised a cake when they finish their tasks, a cake that never arrives. It is now used to describe a promised reward that can never be realized. In online dating, it can be used to describe catfishing and similar insincere lures.

What is the meaning of the cake is a lie meme? ›

The cake is a lie is a 2000s meme based on the video game, Portal, and used for a false promise, temptation, or trap deluding someone into their own ruin. While it quickly went viral, it's now joked about as a meme that has gotten old.

Why did she make a little cake? ›

Complete answer:

The woman in the poem is shown as being naturally stingy, miserly, selfish, and cruel. Every time she picked up a cake to give away, it appeared to be far too enormous. As a result, she cooked a very little cake as thin as a wafer for Saint Peter.

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